Wednesday, January 28, 2009
ARGH!
As I'm mopping up tons of water and trying to dry out the carpet that Logan SOAKED, also trying to scrape gum from underneath his neck and get it out of his hair, I'm wondering, "will my house ever be clean." I know all that stuff about being grateful for the toys everywhere and all the laundry, but I wonder is my house never clean because I'm not taking care of it. I know I have 4 kids, well 5 if you count Mike, but you would think I could make it presentable. What about all that stuff about a house of order and if you're house is not clean the spirit can't be there. How clean is "negelecting the kids clean" and how clean is "the spirit needs to be here clean."
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6 comments:
That speaks to my heart Jana. I have been wondering the same thing the past few days. Just be glad it was water and not poop. Poop is worse...I promise! You are strong, you'll figure it out! And, I have been to your house and it look "clean enough" to me, and I am a clean freak...bad.
The house of order has to come in order, maybe first messy, then order..I don't know! You're asking that question we all ask ourselves OFTEN!!!! Mess doesn't always exclude the spirit. It depends on the mess and the reason for it..that's what I think anyway! Clean houses are highly overrated!
You're so cool for even asking these questions! Man...you should see my house after all of have been sick this week and I've been working on a wedding album! Yikes...its a mess AND I've neglected my kids...I"m a great mom! Good luck with the water and gum...Ironically, I have both on my floor from Gray right now! Go figure....guess it comes with that "little boy territory...."
Jana- a dear friend of mine posted this on a day that I too was struggling - funny how we all seem to think we are alone in these thought processes LOL - anyways - thought I would share in case you were interested. *grin*
Love ya!
~~Heather
I realize some of you have probably had this down for decades, but it was really profound for me, so I thought I'd share. I'll try to keep this in the realm of making sense, I promise. I struggle with the housework. There are times when I just hate it. There are times, most of the time actually, when all I see is what I *haven't* done. I hear the laundry hollering "you're a bad housewife" and the dishes in the sink tell me that I'm a terrible mother, and so forth. I get so crazy about all of it! I have to "finish my chores" before I can "play." Except, with a busy family, the chores are NEVER finished, so I'm never "allowed" to play. Then I go to the opposite extreme and do very little while playing all the time, or I find myself paralyzed by the whole dilemma and ignore it by reading or surfing the 'net all day. Then I feel guilty, and get angry because guilt just ticks me off, and I go nutzoid scrubbing the house to within an inch of its life, all the while threatening to disown any creature who DARES to leave a mess (not quite, but you get the idea)! I'm pretty sure every one of you can relate to some part of that. A friend gave me the book "Cure for the Uncommon Life," by Max Lucado. I've read the first chapter and it's already making a difference. He talks about how God honors our work. The first thing He did was give Adam a job ("even before He gave him britches").....to tend the garden. So we are to honor God with our work.
Now, truthfully, that gave me pause. Here again I heard the "A good housewife....." messages, and thought about how disappointed God must be because my house isn't sparkling clean. After all, that's my job, right?
But wait a second.......That's not my job. My job is to be a WIFE and MOTHER. That's about PEOPLE, not things. Woah!
Here's the lightbulb.....are ya ready?
My life, my "job" as a SAHM, as a wife and mother, is about the people I love. Period. I cook because it's good for my family, not because that makes me a "good" housewife (hate that term btw....I married my sweetheart, not the house). I do the laundry because we need clean clothes. I clean the bathrooms because my sweetherat and I like them clean (kids could care less). I keep things neat and tidy because it's important that we're able to find the things we need. I keep things clean because clean homes are healthy for those of us living in them. I'm truly a homemaker......the person that makes the house into a home, and it has nothing to do with spit-shining the door knobs. WOW!
It goes further.....by worrying about keeping the house clean, as in the obsessive stuff in the first paragraph, I was sinning. I was idolizing, if you will, a clean home. I was putting that above the people in it. Further, there was a lot of pride there, and not the good "I've accomplished something worthy" kind, but the "I'm better than my neighbors" kind. That's hard to admit, but it's true. Having the house clean was, at least on some level, about my pride. About showing that I'm a good SAHM. About proving to someone that I'm better than they are (not even a specific someone, though). Yeah, ouch. That particular revelation hurt a bit, but it was important and necessary. And incredibly freeing! So, from here on out, I'm changing my attitude. My job is to make a home for the people and critters in it. It's about them. I want my family to be happy and healthy and my friends and neighbors to feel comfortable in my home. And suddenly, the housework isn't so maddening anymore. It's not oppressive. It's a service and a gift, and I'm actually enjoying it (well, I'll probably never enjoy cleaning toilets, but......). And, I can play without guilt! Woohoo!!!
Hire cleaning ladies. Kidding. I'm just happy if I start off with a clean or picked up house. At night I just clean everything so at least the day started clean and ended clean. Zoloft seems to help too. :)
Sounds like my home! I am trying to be a mother who knows. . .but it doesn't always work out this well. Today's incident was boiled eggs from the refrigerator were removed and mashed all over the floor. Why? C & C didn't like eating cold boiled eggs. Argh!
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